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Tuesday, 10 June 1997

'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy

and Other Misheard Lyrics

A bookseller friend of mine comes across really funny books quite often. She thought she'd share some gems with you all from this one. It's called 'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy & Other Misheard Lyrics. Apparently these are real mistakes that the author collected.

If you are looking for real lyrics, try Lyric Site . Clown Control to Mao Tse-tung from Bowie's "Space Oddity" is really Ground Control to Major Tom.

It's a hard egg -- Bonnie Tyler, It's A Heartache

Sweet dreams are made of cheese -- The Eurythmics, Sweet dreams are made of this

Wake up I might sit on you -- George Harrison, I've got my mind set on you

We are the Mormons -- Asia, Heat of the moment

Sherry don't like it/Rock the catbox -- from The Clash's "Rock the Casbah" is really Sharif don't like it/Rock the casbah

Mice aroma -- The Knack, My Sharona

Take your pants down and make it happen -- Irene Cara's "Flashdance", of course it's really Take your passion and make it happen

Gotta leave it all behind and take a cruise -- from Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" is really gotta leave....and face the truth

Baking carrot biscuits -- Bachman-Turner Overdrive, Taking care of business

I am a rock, I am an onion -- Simon and Garfunkel, of course, I am a rock, I am an island

Only the lonely get laid -- the Motels, Only the lonely can play (where are these people's brains?)

We are ancient Sophocles from REM's "Orange Crush" is really We are agents of the free.

Weenie skin, you and me from REM's "Cuyahoga", is really We knee-skinned, you and me

Tell me a jawbreaker, Only in Jamaica, Calmly celebrate her from REM's "Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite", is really Call me when you try to wake her

Whoa! Nipsey Russell! from B-52s, Roam if you want to

These are the good times/Are you straight or bi? from Chic, These are the good times/Our new state of mind

Olives have feelings -- from the Go-go's Our lips are sealed

Last night I dreamt of some bagels -- from Madonna's "La Isla Bonita", is really Last night I dreamt of San Pedro

She ripped up her douche in the middle of the night Wrapped up like a douche/Another boner in the night from Manfred Mann's Earth Band's "Blinded By the Light" is really Revved up like deuce/Another runner in the night.

Reader Additions

Several readers have sent me lyrics that they misheard or their friends misheard. You can submit lyrics, too. As I have time, I'll add them here. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to collect the greatest collection of misheard lyrics or anything. Don't feel compelled to send me everything you've ever misheard.

I'll never be your pizza burger from the Rolling Stones, I'll never be your beast of burden

There's a bathroom on the right from Creedence Clearwater Revival, There's a bad moon on the rise

Big hotel with a light on by the Steve Miller Band, Big ole jet airliner

Reach into your room, whoa, to feel your genitals from Elton John's "Sad Songs Say So Much", Reach into your room, whoa, to feel your gentle touch

cant fire a bitterman cant find a bitterman cant find the butter, man campfire at bitterman's Pearl Jam's can't find a better man

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