Shooting Yourself in the Foot
In Various Programming Languages
- You shoot yourself in the foot.
- You accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot
them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is
impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and
which are just pointing at others and saying, "That's me, over
- You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out
of toes, than you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run
out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no
- Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place
ARM.HAND.FINGER. on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return
HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.
- You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun
with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the
gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds
the gun with which you shoot yourself in the appendage which
- Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On big
systems, continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.
- Foot in yourself shoot.
- The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.
- If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot. If you fail,
shoot yourself in the right foot.
- Concurrent Euclid:
- You shoot yourself in somebody else's foot.
- Put the first bullet of the gun into foot left of leg of you.
Answer the result.
- You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the
trajectory, the bullet, and the intricate scrollwork on the
ivory handles of the gun. When you finally get around to
pulling the trigger, the gun jams.
foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o
% rm * .o
rm: .o: No such file or directory
- Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users can, too.
- You'll be able to shoot yourself in the foot just as soon as
you figure out what all these bullets are for.
- Visual Basic:
- You'll shoot yourself in the foot, but you'll have so much fun
doing it that you won't care.
- 370 JCL:
- You send your foot down to MIS with a 4000-page document
explaining how you want it to be shot. Three years later, your
foot comes back deep-fried.
- You try to shoot yourself in the foot only to discover you
must first reinvent the gun, the bullet, and your foot.
- According to
the team from MDTN Holland,(dykes,tulips, mills, the lot),
the following bit is an archetypal bit of bit-twiddling using
that dinosaur of IBM-languages, the ever infamous RPG.
C Z-ADD5 BULLET 10
C DO BULLET T
C Z-ADD1 FOO,T
C XFOOTFOO FOOT
C FOOT COMP 5 69
C 69 MOVEL'MESS' AFOOT 4
C N69 MOVEL'MISS' AFOOT
C SETON LR
Unfortunately, the email address they sent from is bogus, so
you can't congratulate them on this humourous little tidbit.
Last modified: Thu Aug 17 09:58:49 1995