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Caveman's Plea for Help

This is said to be an actual request for help on a newsgroup... Subject: Simple Caveman needum printer help

Me caveman, simple folk. Want hook-up two printer, two computer. OOG, let me scratch on cave wall:

_________  _________  | P5-90 |
LPT1       | P5-60 |  | Win95 |\
        |   Win3.1|   |       |  \  |
        |  ---------  \ ----|----
      ? |      \                    | LPT1 to 1284D
        |       \                   |
    __?_|____    \   to 1284C   ____|____
    | Djet  |     \_____________| Ljet  |
    | 855c  |                   | 5MP   |
    ---------                   ---------

Gottum 1284C, 1284D cables to Ljet HP 5MP many moons now, work like bear-bone charm. Two computers talk to HP Ljet, share-share-alike. HP Ljet 5MP like EPP, like talk to P5-90, P5-60, say "me here! me busy! me needum paper!"

Then Djet 855c join home last moon, much powerful magic. Needum make P5-90 talkum to Djet too. Don't like way me change printers now ... gottum shut down P5-90, change cables, reboot. Win95 stink like big pile mammoth dung, many flies, much bad wind.

Me think me just add new parallel port, LPT2, on little card. But evil spirits lurk; not many IRQs, caveman afraid change soundcard IRQ from 5, for evil Win95 never saw soundcard, will kill or hurt soundcard if find out. Need LPT2 me can assign any IRQ. Me see FarPoint makum extra Parallel port card, but FarPoint say no good with evil, evil Win95. Me want EPP port, most card not EPP, or have all manner expensive junk me no want.

Or maybe can use fast serial with HP 855c? Gottum extra serial port on 855c, made for funny fruit computer (Appletalk? Me never hear apple talk in all days as caveman, travel many many lands). Gottum extra unused 16550 serial on P5-90.

Win95 bad, bad medicine. Stink like ground sloth with mange. MS try make like fruit computer, computer think it know what caveman want, really just do random thing it want.

Harlan W. Stockman

Me no really Caveman, me stodgy 41-year-old scientist. Me pretend be OOG so people actually read story.

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Last modified: Mon Apr 22 00:16:14 1996