Answers to Driving School Tests
Saturday, 20 April 1996
The following are purportedly a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (that is, Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)
- Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
- What for? He can't see my license plate.
- Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
- The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
- What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
- Always wear a condom.
- When driving through fog, what should you use?
- Your car.
- What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
- I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
- What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
- I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
- What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
- Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
- What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
- The color.
- How do you deal with heavy traffic?
- Heavy psychedelics.
- What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
- Carry loaded weapons.