| Term | What it means. |
|---|
| 640K barrier | the finish line in a mega-marathon |
| access time | foreplay |
| analog | what Ana tosses into the fire |
| assembly language | put tab A into slot B, then put tab C... |
| audit trail | what the IRS does |
| bandwidth | limited by the size of the stage |
| battery backup | going in reverse in a golf cart |
| BBS | t-telling t-tall s-stories |
| benchmark | what happens when your saw hits the bench |
| broadband | an all female rock group |
| cache memory | remembering how much you spent |
| carrier detect | "I see the mail man!" |
| CASE | 24 bottles |
| Control Character | prison guard |
| conventional memory | remembering what you did at COMDEX |
| copy protection | wearing a rubber |
| copyright | vs. copy wrong |
| cursor | a garbage mouth |
| daisy chain | a dog's leash |
| DAT | the opposite of DIS |
| deadly embrace | making love to King Kong |
| delimiter | some who says, "Stop, that's enough" |
| density | how to measure IQs of blondes |
| dhrystones | the stones that were tossed out of the
water |
| DIP switch | how my sister gets a new boy friend |
| dot pitch | "Dorothy winds ups, and delivers a
knuckle ball" |
| EBCDIC | similar to herpes |
| EMS | happens just before PMS |
| end user | a prisoner's cell mate |
| escape sequence | Distract guard. Dig tunnel. Cut
throw fence... |
| Ethernet | used to catch Etherbunny |
| fixed disk | a broken disk that comes back from the
shop |
| flash EPROM | what they have on 90210 (Flashy
Proms) |
| flat bed scanner | a hooker looking for loose
change |
| flat file | a file with all the air out of it |
| full duplex | a 2-family house with 16
occupants |
| groupware | clothes swapping |
| hacker | a heavy smoker |
| half-height drive | a midget's sexual capacity |
| hand scanner | singles bar prowler looking for
wedding rings |
| heap | what I drive |
| high density diskette | a very stupid floppy |
| home computer | what you tell your computer when it
follows you |
| hypertext | text on amphetamines |
| ink jet | a plane used for sky writing |
| integrated circuit | a circuit with both black
& white components |
| joystick | (requires little explanation) |
| local bus | stops at every intersection |
| lost chains | euphoria experienced by the recently
divorced |
| low-level language | for basement programmers |
| high-level language | for penthouse
programmers |
| machine dependency | an addiction of machine
users |
| mag tape | tape used on the wheels of cars |
| mainframe | akin to "main squeeze" |
| main memory | remembering where the water line
is |
| math coprocessor | the person you cheated from in
math class |
| megaflop | the worst play you ever saw |
| minicomputer | the peer to Mickey's computer |
| modem | what the gardener did to the lawns |
| multi-sync | can be sunk more than once |
| native mode | head hunting |
| on-line | where the birds sit |
| overlay | chickens making too many eggs |
| PCMCIA | People Can't Memorize Computer Industry
Acronyms |
| pentium | the thing that swings back-and-forth on a
clock |
| plotter | a deceitful person |
| postscript | grafitti on a pole |
| protected memory | remembering to wear a
condom |
| record locking | what you do to your Beatles' White
Album |
| right justified | vs. wrongly justified |
| software piracy | stealing a ship's program |
| spreadsheet | a hooker's foreplay |
| streaming tape | party decorations |
| subroutine | not quite routine |
| surge protector | a condom |
| token ring | a group of people passing the bong |
| trackball | what sprinters and runners often
get |
| twisted pair | tubes tied |
| word wrap | black music |
| worksheet | a prostitutes office |
| Ymodem | because, modem |
