These are allegedly real error messages generated by Apple's MPW C compiler. If they aren't in fact real, they should be....

"String literal too long (I let you have 512 characters, that's 3 more than ANSI said I should)"

"...And the lord said, 'lo, there shall only be case or default labels inside a switch statement'"

"a typedef name was a complete surprise to me at this point in your program"

"'Volatile' and 'Register' are not miscible"

"You can't modify a constant, float upstream, win an argument with the IRS, or satisfy this compiler"