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Funny Answering Machine Messages |
These are from by-gone days when we actually had little computer machines that would answer the telephone for us. They were called "answering machines," intuitively enough. Roughly akin to voice mail today, but when they came out, they were quite novel. Thus, the were the source of much amusement.
"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons
right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home
and it's safe to leave us a message."
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not
here. So leave a message.
Hi. This is John:
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my
parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you
didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If
you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. |
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This letter came from a poor old bricklayer who had suffered an accident. He has been besieged with the bureaucracy of an insurance company in filling out the forms for a Workmen's Compensation claim. I would like to read to you a little bit of this letter that he wrote back to the insurance company.
"I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In Block 10 of the accident reporting form I put, 'poor planning', as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust that the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work I discovered that I had about five hundred pounds of bricks left over.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using the pulley, which fortunately was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, slung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went back to the ground, untied the rope, holding it tightly to assure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of brick. |
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You've found Paco's Funny Pages. This is a collection of jokes, stories, lists, and games that people have e-mailed me over the years.
I'm sure that everyone can find something rib-tickling funny in here. So, dig in, read a few, and enjoy yourself!
Can't decide where to start? Try the random jokes below.
Got something funny you think should be here? Email me. |
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