Dear Public Assistance...
These are actual statements taken from cards, letters and forms
recieved by public assistance agencies.
- I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had 7 but
one died which was baptized on a sheet of paper.
- I am writing the Welfare Dept. to say that my baby was born 2 years
old. When do I get my money?
- Mrs. Jones has not had any clothing for a year and has been visited
regularly by the clergy.
- I cannot get sick pay. I have had 6 children. Can you tell me why?
- I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.
- This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?
- Please find for certain if my husband is dead, as the man I am living
with can't do a thing until he knows.
- I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my boy as illiterate.
This is a dirty lie. I was married to his father a week before he was
- In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10
pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.
- I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children, one of
which was a mistake as you can see.
- Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead
an immortal life.
- My husband got laid off from his job 2 weeks ago, and I haven't had
any relief since.
- You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any
- I have no children yet as my husband is a bus driver and works night
- In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to
twins in the enclosed envelope.
- I want my money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with a
doctor for 2 weeks and he hasn't done me any good. If things don't
improve I will have to send for another doctor.
- (In response to the question, "Why have you applied for public
assistance?") My husband left me last month and I am in need of ass.
- Dear Sirs, please stop my assistance since I got a job begging
Last modified: October 7, 1994 [Paco]