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New Viruses to Watch For

Ross Perot Virus:
Activates every component on your system, just before the whole thing quits.

Mario Cuomo Virus:
It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

Dan Quayle Virus:
Their is sumthing rong with yor compueter, ewe just can't figyour out watt.

Gallup Virus:
60% of the PCs infected will lose 38% of their data 14% of the time (plus or minus a 3.5% margin of error.)

Paul Revere Virus:
This revolutionary virus doesn't horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack - once if by LAN, twice if by C:.

Politically Correct Virus:
Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

Right to Life Virus:
Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

Oprah Winfrey Virus:
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

AT&T Virus:
Every three minutes it tells you what great service you're getting.

MCI Virus:
Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T Virus.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus:
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

Government Economist Virus:
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Texas Virus:
Makes sure it's bigger than any other file.

Warren Beatty Virus:
Constantly tries to prove its virility by attaching itself to younger or newer files.

Nike Virus:
Just does it.

Quantum Leap Virus:
One day your PC is a laptop, the next day it is a Macintosh, then a Nintendo.


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Ear Street Who Am I?


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