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Signs That Your Son is a Hacker

'I HAD NO IDEA ...'

If you've read one hacker news report, you've read 'em all. (Cynical journalist, that's me.) At least, that is, when it comes to one important aspect of the story.

Somewhere deep down in the report, buried at around paragraph 1,987, you'll always see the hacker's mom declare:

"Why, I had no idea that little Louis was crippling the North American air traffic control system with his Macintosh video game. I know he really likes that high-tech stuff. He always keeps his bedroom door locked. I wish those men with the FBI windbreakers would bring my color TV back."

Generally speaking, moms are about as familiar with hacking as I am with the joys of aerobic exercise.

So for mothers everywhere, I humbly offer the following 10 Warning Signs That Your Son May Be a Hacker

  1. Your phone bill lists 1,987 household lines.

  2. Your son tells you that his private interview with the Secret Service agent was for a social studies class essay.

  3. You receive mail addressed to Phil E. Phreak.

  4. The kid cheers Lex Luthor whenever a Superman movie runs on TV.

  5. The CEO of a regional Bell operating company appears on your doorstep, sobbing uncontrollably and begging forgiveness.

  6. You find a copy of Phrack magazine hidden under the underwear in your son's bedroom dresser. (The Playboy magazine is next to the handheld scanner, of course.)

  7. The kid asks for a Novell Access Server for his birthday.

  8. The little silver-colored wheel on your electric meter spins so fast it flies off, slices your neighbor's elm tree neatly in two and flattens a tire on a Chevy Monte Carlo three blocks away.

  9. Your son's English teacher calls, sounding really curious, to ask why the kid selected the Oklahoma City phone directory for his monthly book report.

  10. He names Robert Morris Jr. as his "Most Admired American."

Forewarned is forearmed, as they say. Excuse me, the phone is ringing.

Disclaimer

The above, though written in the first person, was not written by me. It was mailed to me by someone. Don't yell at me for the opinions expressed above.

Revision

Natalie Bheekie wrote to remind me that
There are women hackers, who like myself happen to be very good. And yes we keep a copy of playgirl next to our handheld scanner.


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Last modified: Mon Jan 22 15:20:42 1996