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College burger joint Conversations From Around The Nation

MIT
"I had a nervous breakdown this weekend.
"
"Have some fries.
"

Caltech
"I had three nervous breakdowns this weekend.
"
"Have some fries.
"

Yale
"I got mugged on the way to class today.
"
"Have some fries.
"

Brown
"I got a nose ring this weekend, Professor Smith.
"
"Cool! Me too! Have some fries.
"

Swarthmore
"I got a B.
"
"Anywhere else it would have been an A. Have some fries.
"

Stanford
"Dude, I got a B.
"
"Chill dude. Anywhere else it would have been a C. Have some fries.
"

Princeton
"My father took away my porsche this weekend.
"
"Poor dear. Have some escargot.
"

Harvard
"Did you do anything this weekend?
"
"Nope. Have some fries.
"

Williams
"Don't I know you?
"
"Of course you do, silly. Have some fries.
"
Cornell
"I killed my lab partner this weekend.
"
"Bummer. Have some fries.
"

Northwestern
"I love the smell of french fries
"
"Me too but not as much as I love the smell of Purple Roses
"

Vassar
"I'm so stressed and by the way, I'm gay.
"
"Ditto. Have some fries.
"

Columbia
"I wish that I could be eating these fries at a better school.
"
"Me too. Let's go get shot.
"

Penn
"I wish that I could be eating these fries at a better school.
"
"Me too. Let's transfer to Columbia.
"

Dartmouth
" Oh, man, I got so trashed this weekend. It was awesome.
"
"Have some beer.
"

Smith
"God I'm desperate.
"
"Me too. Have some fries.
"

Tufts
"I wish I were Ivy league.
"
"Here drink the fry grease.
"

Bucknell
"Oh my God, I spilled beer all over my J.Crew catalog.
"
"Here, look through mine. Have a Bison Burger.
"

Boston College
"Huh, huh. It's cool being a rich idiot.
"
"Yeah, yeah, have some fries.
"

Emory
"You hear Duke won the NCAA basketball tournament?
"
"Listen dork I told you never to mention Duke -- ever!!, give me a coke.
"

Johns Hopkins
"I killed everyone in my orgo class this weekend.
"
"Bummer. Have some fries.
"

University of Florida
"I hear another tourist got shot.
"
"Yeah, sucks. Have another Bean Burrito.
"

Georgetown
"I've got five mid-terms tomorrow.
"
"Yeah, me too. Let's finish this keg and go laugh at the American University students.
"

University of Colorado, Boulder
"I O.D'd on Ecstasy last night.
"
"Bummer. Pass the Ecstasy.
"

Willliam & Mary
"Damn, I wish I didn't have to wear this stupid colonial outfit.
"
"Me too. Pass the glass-blowing equipment.
"

U. S. Naval Academy
"Sure wish I had last year's final engineering exam.
"
"No kidding. Pass this year's final engineering exam.
"

Carnegie Mellon University
"I sure wish we had some women here.
"
"What are women? Have some vivarin.
"

Michigan
"Can you believe we lost to State AGAIN?
"
"Don't even get me started. Have an espresso.
"

Disclaimer for the Thinking Impaired

C'mon, you didn't think that was serious, did you? These converstations weren't actually heard. They are jokes. Get it?


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Last modified: Sun Feb 4 19:34:40 1996